synthaetic synapse

December 1, 2008. I am 42 years old. I was supposed to be born on or around this day, 42 years past: what would have been my mother’s 18th birthday. Instead, I was born on November 2. The often-ironic mix of “early and unprepared” has defined me all my life.

Thanksgiving, that all-important, and importantly misconstrued of American holidays, has just passed. One of my brothers-in-law managed not to make it, so I managed not to go out hunting with my other brother-in-law and father-in-law this year. That’s the first time in several years. The Thanksgiving hunts have been a source, over time, of some of my nature photography: the prairie scenes, the pheasants. But I thought it fitting on several levels not to have gone out and shot this year. The absence of Brian from the holiday, plus the fact that I have pulled out of full-time photography in favor of full-time employment as a software quality assurance manager, seemed rather fittingly portrayed by the transportation of a large array of camera equipment that never left the bags and the accompanying feeling of guilt for not having got any work done for the “real” job.

Because I took the holiday and slept. A lot. And read. A book. A big book. About nothing real. With a lot of words and no pictures.

But, I digress. We have our talents….

For some, inexplicable reason, despite having literally a ton of other things today, I am smitten by the nostalgia bug. I have listened to Delerium all day: One of those groups whose music has been foundational to my existence for a couple of decades, and there are many thoughts, many moments, many impulses, that are tied to my relationship with their music: mundane things, mostly; things which range from mowing the lawn at our old house outside of Sioux Falls, to an overnight cold-camping trip I took in the Guadalupe Mountains during a series of thunderstorms back in the early 1990s.

So, being caught up in nostalgia-syndrome, and having experienced it enough in this incarnation to know that fighting it simply prolongs the distraction, I touched base with a few old photographs today. Quickly, though, because I still have some weddings to finish up and a lot of software testing to do for my employer, atop teaching and taking TaeKwonDo classes here in a couple of hours. It’ll be a late night.

Peace.

Oh, I guess I’m back, by the way. I’ve missed you.

And….happy birthday, Mom!

---